Sonya Triggs-Wharton

'Enjoying' The Journey

I was talking to a good friend of mine yesterday about this whole idea of ‘enjoying the journey.’ You know  - the conventional wisdom that we should enjoy the journey to wherever we are going as much as arriving at that destination or goal.

I have to admit that - previous to this conversation – I didn’t think a whole lot about this idea. Enjoying the journey? How can you enjoy the moment 30 minutes into an hour workout when you feel like your sweat-soaked, exhausted body is about to pass out? How can you enjoy the emotional ups and downs that come with finally resolving that childhood trauma that’s been haunting you for these many years? And how can you enjoy the discipline necessary to show up to work every day at a place you’re not even sure you like (though you believe it will lead to a better career down the road)? After all, what we actually enjoy is accomplishing our goals, not the process of getting there. How then could we better enjoy the struggles, ups and downs and pain that often comes with change, discipline and persistence? Doesn’t make sense, does it?

Controlling Your Thoughts

One thing we learn in counseling is the importance of not giving a judgment or value to everything that happens in your life.  An important facet of a therapy known as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is that while ‘good’ or ‘bad’ things may happen, the value you assign to those things is all your own.

What do I mean?

Say you have an unexpectedly busy day at work. You walk in and get hit with a last-minute project which takes the entire morning you had set aside to return phone calls and check your emails. You finally get around to your email that afternoon only to discover you missed an important meeting. You call to make your apologies, find out what was discussed and then return those phone calls you meant to make that morning.

It's The Little Things...That Are So Darned Annoying!

It’s always the little things that get to you. You may be having the perfect day, meditating alone in the park, crossing things off of your to-do list, successfully getting along with difficult bosses or de-cluttering your spare room at home. And in the middle of a perfectly lovely day of peace and serenity – bam! – some lady cuts you off in traffic, shakes her finger (or other offending body part) at you (and you can very clearly read her lips as she’s cursing you out) and leaves you fuming in her wake.

And the question you always ask is – why???? Why do these things happen to me? Why does a perfectly good day get ruined by the carelessness or thoughtlessness of others?

Not Your Responsibility

You know how when you go up to somebody (say at your job) and you ask that person to help you with something and they politely refuse you with a statement such as, “That’s not my responsibility”? Or somehow indicate to you that what you’re asking is not covered in his or her job description?

Well, this is not the kind of ‘Not Your Responsibility’ that I’ll be talking about today. The kind of responsibility I will be talking about here is the responsibilities you decide to take on over and beyond your own which are interfering with your ability to get your own things done. And the responsibilities which are necessary to spur personal growth and development.