Sonya Triggs-Wharton

Waiting...

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 (KJV)

I had a profound moment the other day.

It’s interesting – I’ve always thought of myself as someone who is fairly self-sufficient and God-directed. Meaning, I do what needs to be done, but am empowered and directed by God.

I have game plans and backup plans and alternative plans and the like.

And – generally, I’m pretty good about following through on the directives that God has given me – even if they take time.

I’ll try something again and again until it makes sense or I figure out how to make it work. In fact, I often find that the way I had envisioned doing something is not the way I succeed at doing it at all.

Take my exercise life for example.

Years ago, when I was working out very regularly (as opposed to the half-hearted way I do now), I’d get up in the mornings and run or do a workout video or get on the treadmill or what have you.

I learned that (for me) getting up first thing in the morning ensured I knocked my workout out and I wouldn’t get interrupted by the myriad things that I come across in a given day. I wouldn’t be thrown off track when I got an extra project at work (and had to work through my lunch, when I planned to work out). I wouldn’t have to detour to pick up my child early – ruining my plan for getting in a few miles after work. I wouldn’t decide I was too tired after pushing through a meeting to make my afternoon 2-mile track walk.

If I got up in the morning, it was the first thing I did and then – surprise, surprise – it was over! No more thinking about when I’d get my workout in or fighting my fatigue as I collapsed on the couch at the end of the day (or is that just me?). No more 9pm guilt because it turned out 8pm was the worst possible time for me to work out because I had zero energy by then.

So in the last year or two, I still work out – just haphazardly and half-heartedly.

I noticed my motivation was low because a. I love myself exactly the way I am (which doesn’t help when you’re trying to lose weight!), b. I have a wonderful husband who appears to love me exactly the way I am and c. I have a small child, who takes up a lot of emotional and physical energy.

So I’ve been busy working full-time and raising my child.

And – apparently – I’ve been waiting.

Waiting for the perfect moment.

Waiting for the perfect day (when the sky is sunny and bright and beautiful and the temperature is perfect and only cloudy enough to give some much-needed occasional shade).

Waiting for the perfect inspiration.

Waiting to have more time.

Waiting to become more motivated (which apparently happens entirely alone by magic!).

Waiting until my body decided it’d had enough.

Waiting until I got fed up and changed my habits.

Waiting until – I couldn’t even tell you for what.

I can only tell you I finally stopped waiting.

Because in my prayer life the other day, God said….

Wait for it, this is profound….

Still waiting, right???

He said “Nothing just happens.”

Yep.

That was it.

Nothing just happens.

No bluebird is going to land on my shoulder and give me the inspiration to run a marathon (though I finally did manage a half-marathon last year).

No super fit workout gal is going to show up at my doorstep and force me to run each morning.

My child won’t magically be able to put together the right sentences to remind me I need to be in good health to see her graduate and to see my future grandbabies.

A voice from heaven isn’t going to rush down from the clouds, lift me into heavenly spaces and divinely inspire me to work out (or do anything else for that matter).

Jesus isn’t going to run beside me (though that would be quite lovely) and keep me company during my runs.

Nothing just happens.

And the only reason I actually heard that voice was because I wasn’t busy doing something else (which is a subject of a whole other post).

Wasn’t worrying.

Wasn’t stressing.

Was just….listening. For a change.

Praying to God and actually listening for His answer.

Strange, right?

It was quite delightful in fact.

So with that knowledge, I turn to face the challenges on this particular day.

And if nothing just happens…

Then I need to make it happen.

What are you willing to make happen today?

Just Believe

        Sometimes you feel like you're on top of the world. And sometimes you feel like the world is on top of you.

        Sometimes all your battles have been won and you are reflecting on your glory. And sometimes it feels like you won't survive one more skirmish, altercation or challenge.

        Sometimes you wonder if having dreams is worth it when all your dreams seem to have vanished or been destroyed or delayed beyond what you could have imagined.

        At those times - when times are at their darkest - you simply must believe.

Maybe It Doesn't Have Anything to Do With You

You ever had a day where a close friend seems to be in a bad mood and seems to direct her negative energy towards you? You know, you try to talk to her and cheer her up  and she not only resists all your efforts, but doesn't seem to want to talk to you at all?

You know how you normally think, "I wonder what her problem is?" And wonder if you did something wrong or if you somehow offended her?

Toughing it Out

There are many things you will have to do in life which you will find unpleasant. Paying bills, giving someone bad news and maybe even having to go to work each day can all be problematic, frustrating, exhausting or mentally depleting.

If you're anything like me, you probably think, well I just have to suck it up. I have to live with this, this is the way life is and it ain't gettin' any better.

So you suck it up.

But inside you seethe, feel stymied, are angry or just worn out.

You Can Always Just Choose to Be Happy....

Every now and then when I’m in the middle of over-analyzing and over-thinking my life (a less frequent occurrence of late, thank God), I sometimes pause and remember “Well, you can always just be happy….”

Why do I have to remind myself of this so often? Because my mind often used to get stuck in the ‘worrying’ mode. If there was not something actively going on that needed my attention, my mind was happy to search for other things (real and imagined) to ‘worry’ about.

Being Emotionally Healthy in an Emotionally Unhealthy World

It’s tough being an emotionally healthy person in an emotionally unhealthy world. It’s tough having to often be the bigger person, the one who doesn’t yell, the one who serves as a listening board and the one who is the consistent, reliable friend. It’s tough when you have your own issues, when it’s you who would like to be the smaller person or yell to blow off some steam or don’t feel like listening to your friend when she is yet again going through another crisis.

But remember – it’s worth it. Even though it may cost a little more or take a little more effort, just consider the alternatives. You could be the odd man out in this world or just as crazy as all the rest. Trust me, you want to be different. You want to be the one who remains calm in the face of crisis. You want to be a good person and do good in this world. And you want to remain as physically healthy as you are emotionally healthy. And your blood pressure will thank you.

Food for thought.

Positive Affirmations Videos and MP3s (Audio Podcasts)

Has life been a bit hard lately? Need a little boost to help you manage your stress and anxiety, help you deal with your depression or just need something to help you get through your every day life? Visit my YouTube Channel or listen to my podcasts to hear positive affirmations and meditations designed to help you get the most out of your life, love and accept yourself the way you are and get that boost you need to make your life a happier and positive experience.

 

 

It's Okay...

A lot of what I do in therapy is help people believe/realize it’s okay.

It’s okay that they’re not perfect.

It’s okay that they aren’t making six figures.

It’s okay that they don’t have a perfect marriage.

And – of course – it’s perfectly okay that they don’t have all their ‘stuff’ together and yes, it’s okay that it may take a while for them to get there.

It's Not You, It's Them

Lots of interesting stuff has been happening to me the last couple of weeks. And while I’d like to stay in my happy, rose-colored world and tell you about how much peace, love and happiness I’ve experienced and how wonderful people are, it’s just not happening this way right now.

This is not to say that my life isn’t great.  For the most part, everything is going pretty well. I’m in my last year of my Master’s Degree Program (for Clinical Mental Health Counseling) and have entered into my internship season. That means that in addition to taking a class and learning the theory, I finally get to actually work with people (under supervision of course). This means I get to spend wonderful, glorious hours listening to my clients talk about their deepest problems and am privileged to help them to gain clarity, find hope and begin the process of digging out to begin a new direction in their lives.

Staying Sane in the Face of Adversity

Bad things happen all the time. Globally, there's war, famine, religious intolerance and natural disasters. Nationally, there is a recession, job loss, floods and tornadoes.

If you're anything like me, you find all of the above heart-wrenching, anxiety-provoking and cause for restless nights.

It's hard enough to face the problems that the world and our nation present us.

Even harder is when adversity comes close to home. When it affects someone we know, a friend, a family member or even ourselves. Suddenly all the world's troubles pale as you begin to see the impact on your life and adjust to whatever is now your 'new normal.'

Life is tough for all of us. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.  All the time.

None of us is exempt. Your mountain may be taller than my mountain, but I can assure you we both have mountains to climb.

How do you stay sane in the face of adversity?

First - by accepting that bad things always do and always will happen. Whether they are big or small, troubles will surely find you.

However, once you acknowledge that fact, you are one step closer to being able to handle them when they do come. Knowing your next trouble is likely right around the corner mentally prepares you to face those challenges when they come. You know that your current happiness is not guaranteed, therefore you endeavor to FULLY enjoy where you are while you are there. And you fully expect that something will happen in some form or another real soon.

You get the rest you need and make sure you are as healthy and well-nourished as possible - knowing you will need those resources to face whatever is coming. You don't worry about those troubles because you know there's nothing you can do to head them off. 

You've done the best you can to be a good citizen, a good human being, a good parent, friend, daughter, son, etc. You have done no ill will towards anyone or made amends if you were made aware of it. You are simply the best you can be in all aspects of your life (even if your 'best' ain't always too pretty).

Whatever happens, whatever is coming is not your fault. It's simply a consequence of being a human being and living in this world. It is not personal, it is not meant to break you, it just IS. It's the common condition of being in this world.

So how do you stay sane in the face of adversity?

By accepting that challenges will come, preparing yourself, not worrying about things you cannot change and by resting assured that in your life you've done your best.

Nothing more can be done beyond that.