Self-Acceptance

As you can see from my last post, I’m really concerned about people being unable to accept themselves as they really are (my clients in particular, you – dear reader, and other people in general).

I see and hear a lot from people who are struggling to accept themselves in the face of both real and imagined flaws, imperfections, idiosyncrasies and oddities. The very things that make each individual unique and beautiful are often the very things with which they have the biggest challenge.

It’s sad. It’s profound. And says a lot about where we are as a society as a whole.

We still believe the ‘perfect’ American life consists of  two married people, living together with their two (or three) beautiful, perfectly healthy kids, maybe a dog or two, earning six figures (at least), college-educated, smart, forward-thinking and green. Nowhere in that premise is the realization that life doesn’t usually work out that way. That divorces are common, family conflict is typical, jobs and homes are lost and kids sometimes seem massively screwed up (to the parents and perhaps even in reality) and may need time to find their way.

Life is not linear.

If we could just understand that, I think we’d be oh so much better.

Life has a lot of zig zags, circling back to re-visit old issues, regression and – intermixed in that – some forward progress. Sometimes that progress comes in great leaps and bounds and sometimes it’s just the quiet realization that you’ve come a long way.

And then there are the steps backward.

Our minds can’t conceive that - even if we do everything ‘right’ - get through school, then college, get married, become good parents, get a god job, take care of our parents, pay our taxes, etc. – that our lives still may not turn out to be the way we want them to be.

And that’s life.

And that’s reality.

The key is not to expect everything to be perfect, but to have the tools and resources you need to make it through the bad times.

Get enough sleep. Have a good support network. Try to have a couple of extra dollars in your pockets for emergencies. Take care of your mental health. Take care of your physical health.

And – most importantly – understand that when bad times come (and they WILL come), that you will then have the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual resources to handle them.

THAT’s called surviving.

And that is how you make it.